Also:
#4. Will tuck me in.
#5. Will ensure that the food doesn’t mix on my plate.
#6. Will always use medium starch.
#7. Offers happy endings.

(Special thanks to Keli and MB for #5-7.)

I’m sorry? You have to do what? Um. Maybe i read that wrong…
Nope. No, it doesn’t appear that i did. A colonoscopy. That’s, yeah, I mean, great. Here’s to your health? Really?

Kate:
I understand that sometimes you have to come in late, leave early, or be out of the office all together. In fact, I encourage an occasional late arrival. Whether you need extra sleep after a hard weekday party night, a root canal or, yes, even a colonoscopy, if you gotta be out – be out. But under no circumstance do we need the deets. I mean, sure, tell us you have to go to the doctor. By all means. But, my dear Kate, for next time – spare us our lunch, breakfast or SlimFast shake – a little less info will do us all good, and make me feel that you are a little less…open. Thank you, and happy Election Day.

If you can find the time to go get your colon perused, I hope you also had time to go vote.

xo.qp